Last fall, I entered this school year thinking of it as a sort of sabbatical after 14 years of homeschooling, because I was sending my two youngest to public school, for 1st and 3rd grades. It was still my 15th year of home educating, because I had 7th and 10th graders at home, enrolled in a virtual school, but I was hopeful that they would be pretty independent, and it would be a refreshingly light year for me. At the semester break, we ended up switching the 7th grader to the public middle school, so for the second half of the year, I only had one student at home (plus our 21-year-old son who is still at home, without a job).
So, was it a break?
Well, it ended up not being as much of a break as I had hoped for. Some of B17's assignments were really challenging and rather overwhelming, and I often got involved in breaking them down and helping him get started. He'd have at least one or two of these a week. They were great for his education, but not so much for my sabbatical plans! I could see that he learned more and better when I helped him, though, and it was fulfilling to watch him grow in confidence and ability to take over and do more on his own. His writing, especially, has really been strengthened this year.
And so has our relationship. I discovered this year that my quiet son is a verbal processor. Often, when he'd be in the kitchen at breakfast or lunch, or when something in his history lesson would provoke questions, we'd fall into great conversations that were hard to end. He's starting to really enjoy conversation with adults and discussing ideas and his thoughts. Removed from the high school setting, he's not consumed with social drama, and he's enjoying that freedom! The world of ideas seems to offer more inspiration for song lyrics, too. We butt heads too, sometimes, but it's really been a great year with him, overall.
It definitely has been a less stressful year for me. Although I have not had time for sabbatical projects I had hoped to get to--photo albums? writing? clean out the storage room?--I have not had 5 kids at home all needing me all the time, either. That hasn't happened since I had the sixth child, I think! My life didn't slow down to a snail's pace or anything--once everybody got home from school things were busier than ever--but during the day, it was nice to just keep up with life without having to push hard.
It helped that it was an extended time, too. A vacation is a nice break, but a week or two is not long enough for your soul to catch up with your body. It had been years of stress--not just from homeschooling but from moving, starting a new church and launching teenagers--and it was going to take more than a summer off to rejuvenate me.
Each morning, I kissed and hugged my little ones goodbye, and I would watch them get on the bus without a pang of regret or guilt. I missed them during the day, but I knew it was right and good for them to go. I felt I had so little to give. Only recently have I felt a turn in my spirit, as if formerly empty places are now filled up enough to think differently about next year.
I'm ready to have them all home again in another week or two.
And maybe next fall.... But I will save that for another post!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Grandma Update
On Saturday, we all went to visit Grandma.
(Well, all of us except Blondechick, who is still in Europe with her choir. But we got to Skype with her on the road trip home, though, which was exciting--the first time we've done that since she's been there. She's having a ball, and she was excited about the ministry that they were having, but after two weeks, she's starting to miss home. Ten days to go!)
Grandma is declining. She's had a couple seizures, from the new tumors, apparently, and she's on anti-seizure meds, which wipe her out. She's tired and has trouble staying awake when she has visitors. When she speaks, it's very hard to understand her. Her left side is weak, and she has trouble sitting up straight, so she's having a lot of back pain from leaning over to the right.
She's been unable to continue with therapy, and due to her prognosis, she's been reclassified as a hospice patient. She has been able to stay in the same facility, though, which is a blessing. She's getting excellent care there. My father-in-law stays with her during the day. He can usually get her to eat more than the staff has time for, but she's having difficulty swallowing and is eating less and less.
They have really appreciated all the visitors from their church, Church of the Resurrection--our former church, and Light of Christ's "mother" church. Someone usually brings them communion on Sundays or more often. Two weeks ago, we brought it to them when we visited on a Sunday afternoon; B17 brought his guitar and played a couple of worship tunes for our little communion service, and Grandma raised a hand and worshiped along with us.
This time, her eyes lit up when we came in and she asked B17 if he had brought his guitar. She said something about school to me and again to one of the kids. But after we left, and Eirik's brother returned to her room to get something he had left there, she told him, "I didn't know who any of those kids were."
We've spent some wonderful hours in the past few weeks with my brother-in-law, his wife and our niece, and with my father-in-law, all of us processing what is happening far too quickly. It feels right and good to talk and pull together. This is not easy, but it is pulling us all closer, and as difficult as this is, and as hard as it is to know how to pray, we sense God at work.
(Well, all of us except Blondechick, who is still in Europe with her choir. But we got to Skype with her on the road trip home, though, which was exciting--the first time we've done that since she's been there. She's having a ball, and she was excited about the ministry that they were having, but after two weeks, she's starting to miss home. Ten days to go!)
Grandma is declining. She's had a couple seizures, from the new tumors, apparently, and she's on anti-seizure meds, which wipe her out. She's tired and has trouble staying awake when she has visitors. When she speaks, it's very hard to understand her. Her left side is weak, and she has trouble sitting up straight, so she's having a lot of back pain from leaning over to the right.
She's been unable to continue with therapy, and due to her prognosis, she's been reclassified as a hospice patient. She has been able to stay in the same facility, though, which is a blessing. She's getting excellent care there. My father-in-law stays with her during the day. He can usually get her to eat more than the staff has time for, but she's having difficulty swallowing and is eating less and less.
They have really appreciated all the visitors from their church, Church of the Resurrection--our former church, and Light of Christ's "mother" church. Someone usually brings them communion on Sundays or more often. Two weeks ago, we brought it to them when we visited on a Sunday afternoon; B17 brought his guitar and played a couple of worship tunes for our little communion service, and Grandma raised a hand and worshiped along with us.
This time, her eyes lit up when we came in and she asked B17 if he had brought his guitar. She said something about school to me and again to one of the kids. But after we left, and Eirik's brother returned to her room to get something he had left there, she told him, "I didn't know who any of those kids were."
We've spent some wonderful hours in the past few weeks with my brother-in-law, his wife and our niece, and with my father-in-law, all of us processing what is happening far too quickly. It feels right and good to talk and pull together. This is not easy, but it is pulling us all closer, and as difficult as this is, and as hard as it is to know how to pray, we sense God at work.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Comedy, Anxiety, Tonight [UPDATED]
I guess you could call tonight my directing debut with this theater group, as my One Act class presents "The Seussification of Romeo and Juliet," and I am just a little excited!
And a little anxious, I suppose. Last night we had one last rehearsal--still without sound, and not at the performance venue yet--and it was not totally reassuring. A couple kids were missing, it had been two weeks since our last rehearsal, a couple of my leads were still not solid on their lines (even though I KNOW they will have them by tonight!) and Juliet's bed broke. I kept things light-hearted, but afterwards wondered if I should have been much stricter. Because last night I dreamed that for the actual performance, the kids all kept forgetting their lines and kept laughing about it, and kept missing their cues because they were distracting one another in the wings, and then the whole thing fell apart and people started leaving before it was over, and finally the Area Coordinator stood up and said that our allotted time was over.
The upshot is that my standards and expectations have all fallen away, and I'll be thrilled if we just get through it tonight! My head reminds my anxious heart that the kids are well-prepared. It's a good script, and these teens certainly know how to milk the comedy in it. There will no doubt be mistakes and unforeseen circumstances with an unfamiliar stage and adding sound for the first time tonight, but the audience of parents and friends will be gracious and appreciative.
And so will I. We've all worked hard all session, and I am going to enjoy the fruits of our labors tonight! In between panic attacks.
UPDATE:
So, they totally did me proud. Put those kids in front of an audience, and they performed better than they ever had before! All my students increased their energy not just a notch or two, but maybe TEN from the dress rehearsal we had the night before. The sound ended up being good enough with just the choir mikes and a few others, so we didn't have to use wires on each kid, which was way better.
It was a joy to watch. I just sat back and relaxed.
Too bad it was only one performance! I sure hope the video turns out.
And a little anxious, I suppose. Last night we had one last rehearsal--still without sound, and not at the performance venue yet--and it was not totally reassuring. A couple kids were missing, it had been two weeks since our last rehearsal, a couple of my leads were still not solid on their lines (even though I KNOW they will have them by tonight!) and Juliet's bed broke. I kept things light-hearted, but afterwards wondered if I should have been much stricter. Because last night I dreamed that for the actual performance, the kids all kept forgetting their lines and kept laughing about it, and kept missing their cues because they were distracting one another in the wings, and then the whole thing fell apart and people started leaving before it was over, and finally the Area Coordinator stood up and said that our allotted time was over.
The upshot is that my standards and expectations have all fallen away, and I'll be thrilled if we just get through it tonight! My head reminds my anxious heart that the kids are well-prepared. It's a good script, and these teens certainly know how to milk the comedy in it. There will no doubt be mistakes and unforeseen circumstances with an unfamiliar stage and adding sound for the first time tonight, but the audience of parents and friends will be gracious and appreciative.
And so will I. We've all worked hard all session, and I am going to enjoy the fruits of our labors tonight! In between panic attacks.
UPDATE:
So, they totally did me proud. Put those kids in front of an audience, and they performed better than they ever had before! All my students increased their energy not just a notch or two, but maybe TEN from the dress rehearsal we had the night before. The sound ended up being good enough with just the choir mikes and a few others, so we didn't have to use wires on each kid, which was way better.
It was a joy to watch. I just sat back and relaxed.
Too bad it was only one performance! I sure hope the video turns out.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Caught in the Web
...Charlotte's Web!
I'm painting animal faces...
Papa Rooster is taking photos (and creating photo badges and cast candy bar wrappers)...
B13 is running a spotlight...
Chicklet9 is frolicking as the Lamb...
B17 is babysitting B7 at home...
(...in the absence of B21 who's been gone to the real-life farm I grew up on, helping his grandparents with mowing and other outdoor chores. He took a Greyhound bus there 2.5 weeks ago and has been a big help to them. They are returning him this weekend when they come to see the show!)
...and Blondechick 19 is missing everything, because she's touring Europe with her college choir!
Can't wait to all sit in the auditorium and watch the show together this weekend!
Pictures in about a week...!
I'm painting animal faces...
Papa Rooster is taking photos (and creating photo badges and cast candy bar wrappers)...
B13 is running a spotlight...
Chicklet9 is frolicking as the Lamb...
B17 is babysitting B7 at home...
(...in the absence of B21 who's been gone to the real-life farm I grew up on, helping his grandparents with mowing and other outdoor chores. He took a Greyhound bus there 2.5 weeks ago and has been a big help to them. They are returning him this weekend when they come to see the show!)
...and Blondechick 19 is missing everything, because she's touring Europe with her college choir!
Can't wait to all sit in the auditorium and watch the show together this weekend!
Pictures in about a week...!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
For the 1000 Moms Project, I want to submit this post to thank my wonderful mother-in-law, who has affirmed and encouraged me in so many ways...but especially in my mothering.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Sad News About Grandma
How to title this post? The news is not just sad, it's terrible, awful, unbelievable...and yet I can't call it "bad," because in God's plan, all things work together for good. And she sees herself as being exactly where God wants her. This is all part of God's plan, she assured us repeatedly before her surgery, and she continues to hold firmly to that faith, when she can grip a thought long enough to share it.
Now we understand why it took such a long time to get the final pathology on her brain tumor. They wanted to be sure, absolutely certain, that it was indeed the rare type that they feared it was--a Grade 4 oligoastrocytoma. It's an aggressive and fast-growing cancer, and since they removed it, the latest MRI shows more tumors forming elsewhere in her brain. They say she has six to twelve months left.
Now Grandma is a strong lady, a force to be reckoned with, and those are just numbers. If anyone is likely to defy those odds, it is she! But still, those are the statistics. They seem bleak.
At first they gave us the possibility of radiation and chemo to give her a few extra months, but her quality of life for her remaining time would be so diminished that it hardly seemed worth it. Since the latest MRI, they don't even recommend the radiation any longer--it would be too destructive to too many areas of her brain.
We are numb and heartbroken, all at once. We pray for her healing; we hope for a miracle. We ask that others join us in prayer for her complete healing. But we also accept the probable future. We are grateful for time to say goodbye.
In a way, we've already lost the Grandma we knew. She was quick-witted and funny, and she liked an audience. She could commandeer any conversation she joined, and she always had a story to tell, or something interesting she had read. She always had a compliment for everyone she met, and she was full of encouraging words and advice for her grandchildren. (And her daughters-in-law! None of the mother-in-law jokes applied to my relationship with her; she was nothing but approving, encouraging and thankful for me.) She was the life of the party, often bursting out into song, especially Broadway show tunes, along with my father-in-law. (They met when they were both actors in NYC, on- and off-Broadway; my mother-in-law was in Camelot with Julie Andrews.)
Since her surgery, Grandma has really struggled. Her attention span is less than a minute long, so it's hard to carry on a conversation with her. She forgets what she's doing, mid-bite or mid-step, and has to be prompted what to do next. Some days she's better than others, but mostly needs help with dressing, eating, going to the bathroom, and getting in and out of bed. She's very tired and in a lot of pain. Yet her eyes light up when she gets a visitor. She recognizes everyone, she perks up and asks a question or comes out with a little joke. She's a character with the staff at the sub-acute care center where she's staying right now. For how much longer, we're not sure. They have to be able to show that she's making progress with her therapy.
So that's one of our prayers right now--that she can make progress..We'd love for her to be able to stay there longer and continue the excellent care she's getting, but we also hope for progress for our own sakes--that we can have Grandma "back" for a little while longer.
Our other prayer request is for my father-in-law. This is so hard on him, physically and emotionally. He's so loving and dedicated to her. He goes home to sleep, but he cares for her all day, and I can see the exhaustion alongside the love in his eyes.
It's hard for us to be so far away. It's an hour and twenty minutes to go visit them--too far for us to be of any daily help to Grandpa. But at least close enough that we can do it. We'll go on Mother's Day, this Sunday, for sure.
Bless them, Lord, and keep them in your care. Lord, in your mercy, hear the cries of our hearts. Amen.
Now we understand why it took such a long time to get the final pathology on her brain tumor. They wanted to be sure, absolutely certain, that it was indeed the rare type that they feared it was--a Grade 4 oligoastrocytoma. It's an aggressive and fast-growing cancer, and since they removed it, the latest MRI shows more tumors forming elsewhere in her brain. They say she has six to twelve months left.
Now Grandma is a strong lady, a force to be reckoned with, and those are just numbers. If anyone is likely to defy those odds, it is she! But still, those are the statistics. They seem bleak.
At first they gave us the possibility of radiation and chemo to give her a few extra months, but her quality of life for her remaining time would be so diminished that it hardly seemed worth it. Since the latest MRI, they don't even recommend the radiation any longer--it would be too destructive to too many areas of her brain.
We are numb and heartbroken, all at once. We pray for her healing; we hope for a miracle. We ask that others join us in prayer for her complete healing. But we also accept the probable future. We are grateful for time to say goodbye.
In a way, we've already lost the Grandma we knew. She was quick-witted and funny, and she liked an audience. She could commandeer any conversation she joined, and she always had a story to tell, or something interesting she had read. She always had a compliment for everyone she met, and she was full of encouraging words and advice for her grandchildren. (And her daughters-in-law! None of the mother-in-law jokes applied to my relationship with her; she was nothing but approving, encouraging and thankful for me.) She was the life of the party, often bursting out into song, especially Broadway show tunes, along with my father-in-law. (They met when they were both actors in NYC, on- and off-Broadway; my mother-in-law was in Camelot with Julie Andrews.)
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| Grandma performing at the Light of Christ talent show last November |
Since her surgery, Grandma has really struggled. Her attention span is less than a minute long, so it's hard to carry on a conversation with her. She forgets what she's doing, mid-bite or mid-step, and has to be prompted what to do next. Some days she's better than others, but mostly needs help with dressing, eating, going to the bathroom, and getting in and out of bed. She's very tired and in a lot of pain. Yet her eyes light up when she gets a visitor. She recognizes everyone, she perks up and asks a question or comes out with a little joke. She's a character with the staff at the sub-acute care center where she's staying right now. For how much longer, we're not sure. They have to be able to show that she's making progress with her therapy.
So that's one of our prayers right now--that she can make progress..We'd love for her to be able to stay there longer and continue the excellent care she's getting, but we also hope for progress for our own sakes--that we can have Grandma "back" for a little while longer.
Our other prayer request is for my father-in-law. This is so hard on him, physically and emotionally. He's so loving and dedicated to her. He goes home to sleep, but he cares for her all day, and I can see the exhaustion alongside the love in his eyes.
It's hard for us to be so far away. It's an hour and twenty minutes to go visit them--too far for us to be of any daily help to Grandpa. But at least close enough that we can do it. We'll go on Mother's Day, this Sunday, for sure.
Bless them, Lord, and keep them in your care. Lord, in your mercy, hear the cries of our hearts. Amen.
Thursday, May 03, 2012
Birthday Update on B17!
It's been an interesting year with him at home, for 10th grade. Going to school stretched him in many ways, in 8th and 9th, but this year has challenged him in others. His academics for the virtual school have been demanding--honestly, more than either of us expected. He's had to push himself hard to stay on top of his classes. He also pushes himself hard physically, running and working out regularly throughout the year.
The main reason he chose to be homeschooled this year was so that he could focus on music. And he has! Last semester he logged double the amount of hours that were needed for a .5 credit "Fine Arts Independent Study." He's taking voice and guitar lessons. He's playing with two different bands and recorded a song with one of them. He hasn't been able to log as many band practice hours this semester--all the band members have obstacles to getting together--so he's been writing songs on his own as well.
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| B13 and C9 join B17 onstage during The Sound of Music |
It's been tricky to balance it all. If he falls just a few days behind in his classes, he pays for it for weeks. Often, what he gives up is time with friends. I pointed out to him that if he said no to his guitar a little more often (and got caught up in his classes), he could say yes to his friends' invitations. "Ahh, Mom," he said, with the teasing light in his eyes, "I can't say no to this girlfriend. I can't say no to Taylor!"
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| B17 with his Taylor guitar |
It's been interesting to watch B17 mature. When he was a little boy, he didn't have strong passions or opinions about anything. No special requests for Christmas or his birthday...well, Legos or Airsoft...whatever his brothers were into. Music has now become the driving passion in his life, but even so, he's realistic about the whole thing. Sure, he'd love to record and tour and get "You Tube famous," but he also wants to earn that college degree and have a steady job. I've observed for years that he'd be a good teacher; he's patient and helpful, has strong leadership qualities and really enjoys kids.
He's always thought he'd probably go into business like his dad, but he's starting to think about teaching, too, as maybe a better blend with his musical interests. (If he did, he'd be a third-generation teacher!)
No matter what he goes into, he sees himself using his musical gifts in the church. And that thought makes his parents' hearts sing!
Ephesians 5:19 "Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, sing and make music in your hears to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Psalm 33:2-3 "Praise the Lord with the harp; make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre. Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy."
Psalm 57:7 "My heart is steadfast, O God. My heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord among the nations. I will sing of You among the peoples.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
A Father's Tale
I just finished A Father's Tale, by Michael O'Brien.
This was no small accomplishment; it's over 1,000 pages. I've been working on it since January!
If you're unfamiliar with Michael O'Brien, he's a Catholic writer who's been around a while--I think this is his 11th book. I remember in the 90's when everyone I knew was reading Father Elijah and loving it. I've only read The Island of the World, his last book before this one, which I loved and reviewed here.
Island of the World was epic, spanning one man's entire lifetime of suffering, loss and search for meaning. A Father's Tale has a similar broad scope, as a father travels across the globe searching for his wayward son for what turns out to be years. While Island was the story of one man, A Father's Tale is the story of one man whose life intersects with many men in his journeying. These characters all have stories, and a fair number of them turn out to be priests, either Roman Catholic or Orthodox, and so there is quite a bit of theological discussion between them. This sometimes felt artificial to me; it was as if suddenly the characters were authors of essays in First Things or Touchstone, on their soapbox for a few minutes. But their stories are moving, and those theological nuggets are rich.
I also felt that the plot rambled around a bit, with all the different characters and all the time he spends in various places. It is a beautiful ramble, full of poetry and symbol, but if you're eager to find out what happens--and there is a lot of tension created by the urgent need to find the son--then you're likely to get impatient. I think it helps to know in advance that this is going to be a slow journey. You can tell from the size of the book that it will be a long one, but from the speed of events in the first few chapters, you'll think it's going to be faster-paced.
I don't think this is a book for everyone. It's a story that requires time and attention, if one is to mine the riches that are there, because there is so much more than plot to this book. I took away many beautiful images, but left many behind, I fear--I just wasn't up to the task of appropriating it all, especially when my time for reading is so short. But Papa Rooster absolutely loved it. He rates it right up there with The Brothers Karamazov.
I really appreciated this book, though I would not call it a great read. It was more than worthwhile, it was enjoyable and a beautiful story, and it will stick with me.
This was no small accomplishment; it's over 1,000 pages. I've been working on it since January!
If you're unfamiliar with Michael O'Brien, he's a Catholic writer who's been around a while--I think this is his 11th book. I remember in the 90's when everyone I knew was reading Father Elijah and loving it. I've only read The Island of the World, his last book before this one, which I loved and reviewed here.
Island of the World was epic, spanning one man's entire lifetime of suffering, loss and search for meaning. A Father's Tale has a similar broad scope, as a father travels across the globe searching for his wayward son for what turns out to be years. While Island was the story of one man, A Father's Tale is the story of one man whose life intersects with many men in his journeying. These characters all have stories, and a fair number of them turn out to be priests, either Roman Catholic or Orthodox, and so there is quite a bit of theological discussion between them. This sometimes felt artificial to me; it was as if suddenly the characters were authors of essays in First Things or Touchstone, on their soapbox for a few minutes. But their stories are moving, and those theological nuggets are rich.
I also felt that the plot rambled around a bit, with all the different characters and all the time he spends in various places. It is a beautiful ramble, full of poetry and symbol, but if you're eager to find out what happens--and there is a lot of tension created by the urgent need to find the son--then you're likely to get impatient. I think it helps to know in advance that this is going to be a slow journey. You can tell from the size of the book that it will be a long one, but from the speed of events in the first few chapters, you'll think it's going to be faster-paced.
I don't think this is a book for everyone. It's a story that requires time and attention, if one is to mine the riches that are there, because there is so much more than plot to this book. I took away many beautiful images, but left many behind, I fear--I just wasn't up to the task of appropriating it all, especially when my time for reading is so short. But Papa Rooster absolutely loved it. He rates it right up there with The Brothers Karamazov.
I really appreciated this book, though I would not call it a great read. It was more than worthwhile, it was enjoyable and a beautiful story, and it will stick with me.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
B21 Update
Isn't this a great picture of Bantam21?
It was taken at the Easter Vigil, during the passing of the Peace. His smile here looks so happy and un-self-conscious. (It's hard to get a good picture of him when he knows you are taking it.) His face looks thinned out, from the weight he's lost--his jawline reminds me of his father's. His hairline is already receding--another way he takes after his dad--but from this angle, it's not that noticeable. He looks alive, intelligent, happy. I really wish for more situations that pull him out of his shell like this.
One great development in his life is that he's got a new friend. There is another boy close to his age at our church, who just graduated from high school in December. He has special needs too, and lives nearby, and he and B21 have discovered a common interest in video games and sci fi. He volunteers at a pet shelter, but on Thursdays, he's home all day, so we take B21 over there, since he's got a PS3. They play games all day, and B21 likes to stay for dinner with him and his mom and brother. I think the smaller number at the dinner table is good for B21, and he now looks forward to Thursdays as the high point of his week.
The caseworker at the DVR is still working on finding a job for B21, more than just an entry-level Walmart-type job, something that fits his abilities and strengths. I pray for a work environment that brings out the young man in this photo--with work that engages him, and where there are good folks that he'll enjoy working with, and who will enjoy working with him. Pray for her!
In the meantime, I am grateful for B21's help at home. A number of months ago, we asked him to pitch in with more household chores than he had previously been doing--since he's living at home rent-free, not working, and has more time than the rest of us. So now he's the man in charge of keeping the kitchen cleaned up after meals--no small task. His other regular chores include bringing in groceries and putting them away, vacuuming every Saturday, putting out the trash/recycling bins, and cleaning the boys' bathroom. He wasn't thrilled about it at first, but now that it's become routine, I can count on him to do all these jobs without complaint and often without reminders. What a blessing!
He has also made daily exercise a part of his routine. Combined with healthy eating, that's how he lost the 50 pounds he put on in college. The 40+ that he put on in junior high/high school aren't coming off as quickly, but he's sticking to his routine and trying to increase his activity level. Usually, if it's nice outside, he walks for three miles and bikes for 6-9 miles. If it's cold or windy, he jogs on the treadmill for 4-5 miles, with breaks. Lately he's been pushing his speed up to a faster pace and is actually breaking a sweat on his runs now. He says it feels good!
I still wonder about him taking more college classes, especially to learn certain computer software, but we've wanted to keep his schedule free to be able to take a job, and there are the transportation difficulties. He does have a license, but he's not driving; it confuses him to drive to different destinations all the time. Our plan is to teach him the route to work and back, when he gets a job, and I suppose we could do that with school too. But it ties up a car, it costs money, it's been difficult to choose the right classes, and we want him to be available to take a job when one is found, to start paying back the student loans he already has--which have been deferred, fortunately, until he gets a job. In the meantime, he's gradually working his way through tutorials to learn new things, but he likes his own computer projects and routines more; he's a big contributor of images to Halopedia and other sci-fi websites.
I know friends and family--and even readers who've never met B21--have prayed for him over the years, and we are so thankful. Overall, he is well and content, although he would love to have a job and eventually his own apartment. But for now, it's nice having him around!
Friday, April 13, 2012
Spring Break and a Visit to Grandma Rooster
The kids are on spring break this week. We've mostly filled it with playdates and intensive room cleaning. Oh, and pancake-making and a couple of old movies.
Well, all but Bantam16. He's been about a week behind with his virtual school assignments, since The Sound of Music. Every time he makes some headway catching up, something happens that puts him back behind again. This week, he got no new assignments, since it's spring break, so this was his big chance to get caught up. Then he got the flu, which wiped him out for a couple days.
...And spoiled our plans to spend a day in Chicago, which was the main "Spring Break" trip we were going to take! So far no one else has come down with it, but it seems like this one has a relatively long incubation period, so I'm still holding my breath.
At least he didn't come with us in the car on Wednesday, when we drove over an hour to Wheaton, IL to visit my mother-in-law, who is in a rehab facility, still recovering from brain surgery. It's been a month since she had a tumor removed, and she's not recovering so well. She can't really do the level of therapy that she needs to, to be allowed to stay at this facility, so she's being moved to a facility that is more like a nursing home. She'll have a less aggressive program of therapy there, which she hopefully can manage to do. If she can't, difficult decisions will have to be made.
She's still having severe headaches, and she's pretty confused. She doesn't know what month it is--she guessed "December" despite flowering tree branches right outside her window. She doesn't answer questions when you try to talk to her. She knew who we were, and she occasionally came out with an appropriate comment, but she couldn't sustain conversation at all.
The tumor they removed was the size of a golf ball, and though they removed no portion of her brain with it, it had to have left a large "hole" where synapses have to re-form, which they hopefully still can do. She hasn't had any seizures since the surgery, which is good, and confirms that the tumor was the cause of her seizures. We are still waiting on a second pathology opinion from the Mayo clinic on the tumor itself. The brain trauma didn't affect any of her limbs--she can walk a few steps at a time and use both hands, which we are really grateful for.
But my anxiety about her, and my exhausted father-in-law, is pretty high. It is so difficult to see my usually extroverted, vivacious mother-in-law like this, and sense the weight my dear father-in-law is carrying. They have been talking for years about moving near us, and it seems like maybe this summer is the time to do that. Whether she gets better or not, it seems like it would be for the best, but the thought of what it would take to move them up here starts a whole chain of anxious dominoes falling in my mind. (And with great relief, I think--"At least I'm not planning a wedding for this summer!") Nothing has even been discussed or decided yet, but still, my mind is starting to work on the problem. It's a sickness.
Or maybe it's just the way God made me, to have a problem-solving mind and a git 'er done mentality. He certainly created me to enjoy and be energized by these kinds of challenges.
So I should go apply that energy to another project--the boys' bedroom. Yesterday I bought a twin bed frame so we can get at least one of the boys' mattresses off the floor, so we can store stuff underneath. (I'm still hoping to find another one at a resale shop at half the price, but I've been looking for weeks.) When B16 shared with B13, he insisted on the mattress-on-the-floor look, but now that B7 is in there with B13, the need for under-bed storage is apparent. And it's time to do something different with the bins and bins of Legos. Also, their room has these two awkward dormers that just fill up with junk. They are too narrow for mattresses or for shelves, but I have some thoughts...
First to get the junk stored, so one can walk into the dormer areas. And, I suppose, look at some more geometry with B16, if he's up to it. Soccer practice and Charlotte's Web rehearsal tonight, more rehearsal and soccer games tomorrow.
Just a few more hours of spring break, really--this afternoon!
Pray for Grandma and Grandpa Rooster, and for all of us. Thank you.
Well, all but Bantam16. He's been about a week behind with his virtual school assignments, since The Sound of Music. Every time he makes some headway catching up, something happens that puts him back behind again. This week, he got no new assignments, since it's spring break, so this was his big chance to get caught up. Then he got the flu, which wiped him out for a couple days.
...And spoiled our plans to spend a day in Chicago, which was the main "Spring Break" trip we were going to take! So far no one else has come down with it, but it seems like this one has a relatively long incubation period, so I'm still holding my breath.
At least he didn't come with us in the car on Wednesday, when we drove over an hour to Wheaton, IL to visit my mother-in-law, who is in a rehab facility, still recovering from brain surgery. It's been a month since she had a tumor removed, and she's not recovering so well. She can't really do the level of therapy that she needs to, to be allowed to stay at this facility, so she's being moved to a facility that is more like a nursing home. She'll have a less aggressive program of therapy there, which she hopefully can manage to do. If she can't, difficult decisions will have to be made.
She's still having severe headaches, and she's pretty confused. She doesn't know what month it is--she guessed "December" despite flowering tree branches right outside her window. She doesn't answer questions when you try to talk to her. She knew who we were, and she occasionally came out with an appropriate comment, but she couldn't sustain conversation at all.
The tumor they removed was the size of a golf ball, and though they removed no portion of her brain with it, it had to have left a large "hole" where synapses have to re-form, which they hopefully still can do. She hasn't had any seizures since the surgery, which is good, and confirms that the tumor was the cause of her seizures. We are still waiting on a second pathology opinion from the Mayo clinic on the tumor itself. The brain trauma didn't affect any of her limbs--she can walk a few steps at a time and use both hands, which we are really grateful for.
But my anxiety about her, and my exhausted father-in-law, is pretty high. It is so difficult to see my usually extroverted, vivacious mother-in-law like this, and sense the weight my dear father-in-law is carrying. They have been talking for years about moving near us, and it seems like maybe this summer is the time to do that. Whether she gets better or not, it seems like it would be for the best, but the thought of what it would take to move them up here starts a whole chain of anxious dominoes falling in my mind. (And with great relief, I think--"At least I'm not planning a wedding for this summer!") Nothing has even been discussed or decided yet, but still, my mind is starting to work on the problem. It's a sickness.
Or maybe it's just the way God made me, to have a problem-solving mind and a git 'er done mentality. He certainly created me to enjoy and be energized by these kinds of challenges.
So I should go apply that energy to another project--the boys' bedroom. Yesterday I bought a twin bed frame so we can get at least one of the boys' mattresses off the floor, so we can store stuff underneath. (I'm still hoping to find another one at a resale shop at half the price, but I've been looking for weeks.) When B16 shared with B13, he insisted on the mattress-on-the-floor look, but now that B7 is in there with B13, the need for under-bed storage is apparent. And it's time to do something different with the bins and bins of Legos. Also, their room has these two awkward dormers that just fill up with junk. They are too narrow for mattresses or for shelves, but I have some thoughts...
First to get the junk stored, so one can walk into the dormer areas. And, I suppose, look at some more geometry with B16, if he's up to it. Soccer practice and Charlotte's Web rehearsal tonight, more rehearsal and soccer games tomorrow.
Just a few more hours of spring break, really--this afternoon!
Pray for Grandma and Grandpa Rooster, and for all of us. Thank you.
Monday, April 09, 2012
Holy Week High and Sigh
What a week!
Thank you, Lord, for your presence poured out among us...for each one playing his part...for renewal of faith and purpose...that we saw You glorified in our midst.
It was quite a week. (That was the sigh.)
One of the highs was seeing the way we need everyone in our congregation. The spiritual gifts that were poured out were all so different and all so needed! It was such a great example of the Corinthians passage in action. Thank heavens we are not all noses...or hands...or elbows! For example, two women took care of providing snacks and meals for musicians, tech crew, coordinators and others who were at the church all day for several days, plus assorted children. One cooked, baked and grocery-shopped, the other opened her home, served (lots of kids) and cleaned up afterward--and each woman thought the other one had the harder job.
We had servant types running errands and pitching in wherever. We had administrative types with clipboards, checklists and oh-so-helpful reminders. We had musicians who were also arranging flowers, rigging up scrims and lighting, running sound, and creating visual effects with light. Even the kids were needed, serving as acolytes, readers, dancers and singers. The sound and light crew relied heavily on two boys--including B16--who volunteered their time for three days straight.
It was truly a whole-church effort, and what better thing to get the whole church involved in than a celebration of Christ's Passion and resurrection! One of the things I love about our Anglican tradition is how Easter is absolutely the pinnacle of the church year, way more exciting and a much bigger deal than Christmas. I'm so glad my kids are growing up with this sense.
And without a doubt, Easter Vigil is the best, the favorite service of the whole year!
On the way into the chapel, everyone passes the Holy Fire, from which our Paschal Candle is lit. (Which happens after last year's candle is melted in the fire, which is what they are doing in the picture above. I never knew this before!)
The service begins in darkness, with the sound of loud knocking on the wooden doors. The procession enters with incense, then the candle is lit and processed to the front while Father Rooster sings an ancient hymn, the Exsultet.
From that one light, many lights are lit.
Then we settle in for a recounting of salvation history through nine Scripture readings, beginning with Creation.
We used the seven banners that I made last year for the seven days. Seven children hid behind the rood screen and raised them as seven other children read the description of God's work on each day.
For the Flood, I recounted the tale from Genesis, while our percussionist created a "soundscape" to auditorily illustrate the text. I got to help, adding a rain stick at appropriate times.
The Abraham and Isaac reading, shadow-acted by a father and son, was one of the most powerful recountings.
The Red Sea text was read by three women, accompanied by three men/young men on percussion. B16 enjoyed learning this new skill! With expressive readers and three drummers drumming the chaos of the Egyptian chase, this was the noisiest and most exciting reading.
The pace slowed down with the peaceful "God's Presence in a Renewed Israel."
Salvation Offered Freely to All was a song, an original composition by the worship minister at our old church, which puts the Isaiah text to music. The memorable refrain, "Come to the waters, come" was sung in 4-part harmony by Papa Rooster, his brother and two other men.
Two young ballerinas danced the parts of God (in white) and Israel (in lavender) to "Lark Ascending" played by our own professional violinist. The red scarf symbolized the heart of flesh; the white scarf, a new spirit. The dancers' mothers came up with the touching choreography. It was a favorite last year and again this year.
For the Dry Bones reading, one of our men assembled his own version of the text by pulling from various editions and creating a reading that was in his own voice and style, as if the prophet Ezekiel's weird experience had just happened to him.
For the final Gathering reading, four readers (including me and B13, both on the right) began at the four corners of the sanctuary and gathered in the center aisle, before processing to the front to finish the reading. I had not realized until I saw this picture that we were all nearly the same height! What unplanned symmetry.
Next was the renewal of baptismal vows. Usually when we have baptisms, the clergy fling the leftover holy water into the congregation, and thought there were no baptisms this year, they went ahead and doused the crowd...
...and each other!
After a ten-minute Resurrection homily, it's time for the Easter Acclamation: "The Lord is risen. He is risen indeed. ALLELUIA!" On that word, the lights come up, the flowers come out to surround the altar, and the Holy Noise ensues.
That would be the ringing of bells, the shouting of Alleluia!, drumming, and general woot-woot-ing.
Oh, and four Alleluia banners drop, but the one in the picture above was the one that had difficulties (i.e. the chain stitch didn't unravel properly and when it was jerked on, the top pole turned sideways). It was the first time in 3 years that they haven't all come down beautifully. This year will be remembered for technical glitches of all sorts, but it didn't matter--it was still a glorious service!
We celebrated the first Eucharist of Easter...
..with songs of celebration...
...and dancing in the aisles!
That's it for the photos--taken by Papa Rooster's friend Mike H., from another congregation who offered his gifts to our church for this night.
But the celebration continues in our hearts and in our grateful thanksgiving for all Christ has done for our salvation and in our midst!
Thank you, Lord, for your presence poured out among us...for each one playing his part...for renewal of faith and purpose...that we saw You glorified in our midst.
It was quite a week. (That was the sigh.)
One of the highs was seeing the way we need everyone in our congregation. The spiritual gifts that were poured out were all so different and all so needed! It was such a great example of the Corinthians passage in action. Thank heavens we are not all noses...or hands...or elbows! For example, two women took care of providing snacks and meals for musicians, tech crew, coordinators and others who were at the church all day for several days, plus assorted children. One cooked, baked and grocery-shopped, the other opened her home, served (lots of kids) and cleaned up afterward--and each woman thought the other one had the harder job.
We had servant types running errands and pitching in wherever. We had administrative types with clipboards, checklists and oh-so-helpful reminders. We had musicians who were also arranging flowers, rigging up scrims and lighting, running sound, and creating visual effects with light. Even the kids were needed, serving as acolytes, readers, dancers and singers. The sound and light crew relied heavily on two boys--including B16--who volunteered their time for three days straight.
It was truly a whole-church effort, and what better thing to get the whole church involved in than a celebration of Christ's Passion and resurrection! One of the things I love about our Anglican tradition is how Easter is absolutely the pinnacle of the church year, way more exciting and a much bigger deal than Christmas. I'm so glad my kids are growing up with this sense.
And without a doubt, Easter Vigil is the best, the favorite service of the whole year!
On the way into the chapel, everyone passes the Holy Fire, from which our Paschal Candle is lit. (Which happens after last year's candle is melted in the fire, which is what they are doing in the picture above. I never knew this before!)
The service begins in darkness, with the sound of loud knocking on the wooden doors. The procession enters with incense, then the candle is lit and processed to the front while Father Rooster sings an ancient hymn, the Exsultet.
From that one light, many lights are lit.
 |
| The little boy lit up in front (center right) is B7. Go ahead and click to enlarge. |
 |
| Chicklet9 read Day 3, the green banner shown, which B13 raised. |
For the Flood, I recounted the tale from Genesis, while our percussionist created a "soundscape" to auditorily illustrate the text. I got to help, adding a rain stick at appropriate times.
The Abraham and Isaac reading, shadow-acted by a father and son, was one of the most powerful recountings.
The Red Sea text was read by three women, accompanied by three men/young men on percussion. B16 enjoyed learning this new skill! With expressive readers and three drummers drumming the chaos of the Egyptian chase, this was the noisiest and most exciting reading.
 |
| B13 is the dark-haired acolyte in front. |
Salvation Offered Freely to All was a song, an original composition by the worship minister at our old church, which puts the Isaiah text to music. The memorable refrain, "Come to the waters, come" was sung in 4-part harmony by Papa Rooster, his brother and two other men.
Two young ballerinas danced the parts of God (in white) and Israel (in lavender) to "Lark Ascending" played by our own professional violinist. The red scarf symbolized the heart of flesh; the white scarf, a new spirit. The dancers' mothers came up with the touching choreography. It was a favorite last year and again this year.
For the Dry Bones reading, one of our men assembled his own version of the text by pulling from various editions and creating a reading that was in his own voice and style, as if the prophet Ezekiel's weird experience had just happened to him.
For the final Gathering reading, four readers (including me and B13, both on the right) began at the four corners of the sanctuary and gathered in the center aisle, before processing to the front to finish the reading. I had not realized until I saw this picture that we were all nearly the same height! What unplanned symmetry.
Next was the renewal of baptismal vows. Usually when we have baptisms, the clergy fling the leftover holy water into the congregation, and thought there were no baptisms this year, they went ahead and doused the crowd...
...and each other!
 |
| You have to rermember that these two were once college roommates! |
That would be the ringing of bells, the shouting of Alleluia!, drumming, and general woot-woot-ing.
Oh, and four Alleluia banners drop, but the one in the picture above was the one that had difficulties (i.e. the chain stitch didn't unravel properly and when it was jerked on, the top pole turned sideways). It was the first time in 3 years that they haven't all come down beautifully. This year will be remembered for technical glitches of all sorts, but it didn't matter--it was still a glorious service!
We celebrated the first Eucharist of Easter...
..with songs of celebration...
...and dancing in the aisles!
That's it for the photos--taken by Papa Rooster's friend Mike H., from another congregation who offered his gifts to our church for this night.
But the celebration continues in our hearts and in our grateful thanksgiving for all Christ has done for our salvation and in our midst!
Sunday, April 01, 2012
Palm Sunday Processional
Photos by Professor Paint. (Thanks, Nathan!)
The Passion Reading changes the tone.
And our journey into Holy Week has begun!
Preparation in the Gymnasium
(note the fabulous murals)
Processing down the Third Avenue sidewalk...
Across the spring-beautiful lawn...
And into the chapel.
Hosanna in the highest!
Glory to the King of Kings!
The Passion Reading changes the tone.
And our journey into Holy Week has begun!
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